Moment yet to be felt………

There comes a moment, with the course of time in your life where you go through the path of innocent love, a small change where you feel your heart tickles, little beautiful butterflies in your stomach and you keep smiling every time when you think of that. A time, when you feel like capturing the moment forever. A time, which you like to feel every day. It’s not just the physical change you experience as you grow, but the way you feel for someone. You no longer remains the same. When you feel it, the first change you see in your eyes. This changes how you look into the persons eyes. The gaze becomes more fixed and it becomes hard to pull away from it. The person is not an ordinary one; he becomes special in your eyes. You find a way to be happy and you don’t regret some of the things that make you unhappy. You don’t miss those silly things like gossiping or talking with your stupid friends because you have something to make each day a thing to look forward. Whenever you see him your face becomes hot and you blush even if he doesn’t notice you looking at him.

 Nobody tells you to do it but you do start caring your hair, your dress ups and altogether your life style changes. You feel conscious but you are happy. And it’s not the change that makes you so happy but the change not just to please yourself but to please someone else, the feeling of being useful, of changing yourself for somebody who have become some sort of god in your eyes. He has become that because he has the thing of making you feel important. The feeling you had while watching movies and reading romantic novels becomes real in your life. And you wonder whether sometimes if it is real, if he isn’t some lovely illusion that would vanish suddenly.

You feel he is the one you have been looking for, the one you have been waiting for, just like the main character in any romantic story that spreads his charm over you. The feeling you longed to lie on the ground holding hands and look at the stars just like the fairy tale.

If you feel above these yes you are in love and if you have not, it’s not far you will feel that beautiful reality.

Love beyond.

They became each other’s soul mate unexpectedly. My dad (SonamChophel) after completing his high school joined Ministry of Health. He was placed at Zhemgang, totally unknown. New place, new people and new language. Villagers didn't know Dzongkha and it was impossible for him to understand Khengkha.

My mother (LekiWangmo) appears in the scene. She is second eldest among her siblings. Her parents gave priority to the eldest for education. So she had to carry all the responsibility of household and domestic chores.

Let’s say, one fine day she went out with few of her friends along with the cattle to nearby valley. Sonam saw Leki for the first time there, his office happened to be next to the valley. He exactly knew at what time she came to the place and at what time she left. Days passed but he wasn’t able to approach her. On the other hand Leki has also been noticing him around the place at the same time she arrived. He couldn’t hold any longer and went to the girls and greeted, “Kuzuzangpo ladies”. The girls embarrassed didn’t reply. He went to Leki and tried talking. She stayed silent (my dad was fast and my mother stubborn). They sat quiet. They spoke the words that were going through each other’s head before they could say them. A kinship was born after that.

Next day they met again. This time they talked, talked till the sunset. She didn’t know much about him, except for the fact that he seemed really nice guy. He made her happy. She wanted to know more about him and was excited every morning. Sonam was already attracted her and he was also thirsting for more information. He asked Leki’s friends for her address and later when Leki returned home, she was surprised to see her father and Sonam drinking and laughing like old buddies. He came there with a marriage proposal. That’s how their story progressed. Then I came into the scene, my sister and then my brother.

It’s been 22 years now. When they started they knew all they wanted was to be together. They were ready to handle everything whether rough or smooth. When I see them together I see something promising. I do see them quarrelling but I don’t think any relationship is bed of roses. They take the good and bad and still love each other. They know each other’s likes and dislikes, they are like lost piece to their puzzle. Through this love they have grown stronger, learnt from each other and have taken their relationship beyond the level. With their flaws, they saw something in each other’s eyes and they could give each other that no one could have given them.

Love at first sight can happen, it happened. When I see the love still alive, it leaves me with a little tear about to fall from my eyes. Love you both......

Something Good Out Of Bad.

Good things always happen to me only that I failed to notice them. The challenges I faced so far, I can see that they were in fact blessing in disguise because something good always came out of them. And same with everyone when something bad happens there is a reason we experience it and there is often better around the corner. I believe god has blessed each of us with certain gifts and abilities.

After qualify with 79% from class ten, I was the best daughter to my proud parents. A moment where you held your head high. Science stream which was supposed to be superior to Commerce and Arts, without thinking I walked through that door. “Eleven is heaven” was my motto then. My new life with science started. It was nice when it began but wasn’t the thing I was looking for. I wasn’t interested at all. Bunking classes which I was scared of became frequent. I hated on seeing numbers (mathematics) which used to be my favorite subject before. Biology class was easy to escape from, the teacher didn’t noticed me at all. I did quite well with my language papers and I loved the tutor’s teaching. So I sincerely attended only his class. Later the result was “FAIL”. When I went home with my failed result, my mother thought I was joking, “Come on cheche, and don’t joke”. When I said I was being serious, she changed her expression and was looking around for anything so that she would throw at me. I immediately ran from the spot otherwise I would have been thrashed. My father stopped talking with me. I became the bad daughter. Every time we sat for the meal, mother would bring the same topic, “Look at the failure”. It was a hell experience at home. School was no exception. It was hard experience to see my old classmates entering different classroom. I was stuck with my juniors. I felt old. Every time the teacher would say, “If you have any doubt, ask the repeaters”. (How would I know the answers? I wouldn’t have flunked if I did).

I pretended to love science but it didn’t help me. With small amount of hard work I got through. I had to be careful in my 12^th standard. Never wanted to go through the same situation. The image of my angry father haunted me. I started working hard on what I was good at, attended my usual classes and YES I qualified to the course I wanted to, Media studies with Dzongkha. (Again a little problem, I hate Dzongkha).

My old classmates who became a year senior to me, I saw some of them qualifying nowhere. Their remarks, “Man, I should have flunked in 11^th. Could have built good foundation”. Their bad, I flunked, realized and qualified Sherubtse. I could bring smile on my parents face. I was the good girl again.

One thing I learnt from this, no matter how miserably one fails, the experience is never going to kill us. I had bitter experience though. And no one is too old to start a new beginning. Now when are you going to start?????

Technology ruins ROMANCE

Life was more simple and beautiful without technology (no offence). It was much more romantic when couples exchanged letters by post. The excitement and patience were worth waiting for. But now technology ruins it. Everything happens so fast and quick, so does it ends soon.

Meeting as a stranger on social network, asking few questions, getting to know instantly; every stories has lost its beauty. The way of living has become more comfortable but has creating more misunderstandings, quarrel and unnecessary problems.

Few days back when I was returning from my class and on entering my room, I saw my friend shouting over the phone furiously. I was like what really happened to her. I finished changing my clothes but still she hasn’t finished. I jumped onto my bed, put on my laptop and tried to play a slow and soothing song. My friend kept her phone on hold, looked with her big eyes and said, “Will you please put off that song” and carried on. The matter seemed really serious. Few minutes later she came beside me and said, “What do these boys always think of themselves?” I didn’t have a clue what was she really talking about. Then she began from the start and then I came to know she was chatting with her friend which seemed to be a boy that brought the fight with her boyfriend. She continued, “He is just a friend of mine, we were talking the usual, teasing each other reminiscing our old times together.” Now I got the whole story, he r boyfriend must have probably seen the conversation in her phone and picked up the fight.

It’s clearer talking in person. The words or lines we exchange in text messages or chats loses it true meaning once we hit the “send” button. The third person who reads it, interprets through his/her understanding and conclude it in his/her way of thinking. Sometimes things are not the way it seemed to be or the way we think. There are true stories hiding behind than what appears on small screen of phones and computers.

So whoever is reading my writing (which may seem stupid to some) know that misunderstanding, quarrel, fight and problem occurring because of technology are due to the way you think. Sort it out, don’t let these stupid things ruin your best moments. Look, analyze, reflect and react wisely. Cheers….happy life hereafter…….

Far apart yet Growing up Together

We played the same toys, shared the same clothes and bed. She is one of the especial and close people so far I have been missing. My younger sister, Pema Lhamo who is miles away from me. As I was lying on my bed, starring at the ceiling there was something missing inside me. I decided I will call all my close ones. I started with calling my parents and asked whether they were alright or not at home. They were doing great with their usual works and only that they have been missing me. Following I called all my old mates and my besties yet there was something more to fill the emptiness. As I was going through my contact list in my phone, one name caught my eyes, PIHOO (the contact name I have saved for my sister).

 “Tring, tring” the ring went. On the other end she said. “Hello Ana”. Her image formed in my head and a wide smile appeared on my face. She just got mad at me and shouted, “You promised to visit me last week and you broke your promise”. Then I realized that I had left a thing undone. I had broken my promise to visit her and I apologized for not making up to it. But still I could feel how disappointed she was. I did go through the same phase in my boarding life where you longed to see your family and I could feel her going through the same.

I had difficulty to sleep that night. I went through the old photo album, seeing the photos of hugging so tightly and kissing each other relieved me a little.

We went to the same high school for a year holding hands every time and people thought we were very close friends. It was only later that they were surprised to know that we were sisters. Being elder I used to bully her to carry our lunch boxes, yet she never complained. I feel bad that I have been rude to her at times. But more happy memories exist to be cherished.

Despite the age difference we have so much in common. We have the same taste; we like the same books, films, songs, color etc and we exchanged everything. When she grew a litter older, I would tell her about the boys I fancied and other secrets I wouldn’t tell anyone else. After I called her, it comforted me a lot. WE HAVE WALKED THE PATH OF TIME TOGETHER.

Just before hanging up the phone she asked, “Ana how much new clothes did you get for yourself?” I laughed out and replied, “My clothes are always saved for you” Just old memories boomed.

We shared sadness, happiness and no matter how much gap has been created during this whole time, we are going to fill it during our summer break. We are so far apart yet growing up together. And these memories are too beautiful to forget. If there is any moment to make a wish, I would wish her to be beside me right now. I MISS HER…………